JtHMIZ Crossover
by Psychogirl777
Summary: WARNING: There ARE some crying scenes in this. And if you don't like the idea of Devi and Johnny getting back together, this is not for you. Other than that, some humor and a talking couch was added. Some typos still exist. IZ JtHM FUN!
1. Chapter 1: Another 2 AM

Another 2 AM:

There sat a tall, sickly skinny man with black hair and eyes. He wore gothy clothes and black eyeliner, eyeshadow, and mascara. His real name was Johnny but mostly preferred to be called NNY , he ran his hand up the sickly yellow skin on his thin, bony and muscle-deprived arm as he slouched a little more than he usually did. Johnny was sitting on his only and rarely used bed, staring at the broken mirror on the wall next to the only door, which was to the left, since the couch recently started harassing him into countless unwanted slumbers, it was the only thing he could do. On the other side of the room in the far corner there was a nightstand that seemed to stick out like a sore thumb, because the whole room was blue and a dark, wood-like brown, and the nightstand was painted bright, cornea burning neon orange, and there sat a small, grinning Bub s Burger Boy. His greased back duck-bill hairstyle shining in the moonlight, clasping his suspenders with his only free hand, and on the other holding up a plastic hamburger.

C mon Johnny, you haven t slept in days. You need sleep.

Oh, yeah, you re as persuasive as the couch, I think I ll go ahead and SLEEP THE REST OF MY FUCKING LIFE AWAY!! WHY DO YOU THINK I CAME DOWN HERE!? IF I WANTED TO SLEEP I WOULD BE UPSTAIRS WITH THAT SATANIC PIECE OF FURNITURE!! I WAS TRYING TO STAY AWAY FROM YOU TOO YOU KNOW! ... Just leave me alone.

He always hated sleep, he said so himself, because it separated him from the most important thing in his miserable, nightmarish life: THE TRUTH. NNY ran his long, thin fingers through his hair, which grew back after countless applications of that Magic Hair GrO he bought from the 24/7, after killing another store clerk because he was making fun of Johnny s newly acquired hairstyle. The downside was that he had to shave his hands after applying it, and he had to trim his front bangs after deciding that the huge-ass bunny ear look was not such a good idea, and lastly having to buy the Magic Hair-Be-Gone formula to get rid of his knuckle peach-fuzz. The worst was when he went to the pet store and handled a gerbil, three days later he heard in the news that one of the local gerbils became mysteriously hairless .

You re not still mad about that gerbil are you?

NO. NO that s not why I m annoyed.

Heheheh... Annoyed, are you? Well, I m sure you ll feel better after some rest.

I m going outside.

Why?

I d rather talk to a jerk than to you right now.

Johnny started to make his way to the top floor when he heard the doorbell ring. BZZAAAGH! Screaming, because that WAS his doorbell, a guy strapped to a tazer that activates every time he used any of his household appliances. It was the only thing that tempted him to eat toast, make smoothies, and use the toilet. He quickly made his way to the living room; the front door was about a yard from him when a voice spoke.

You d better get that Johnny.

I know that, couch.

Please, call me Marcie.

He opened the door and spoke in his spooky go away voice.

Yes?

Expecting a man or woman, but instead having to look straight at the ground to see the little visitor. It appeared to be a small child with dark green eyes and reddish-blonde hair with a light and dark green beanie on his head, the child practically looked like he was sown together by a very lousy seamstress. He had dirt on his face and a darling looking ducky picture on his bright green T-shirt and dark green shorts that show that he has no shoes, or toes for that matter. His mouth was wide open, showing creepy looking green circles, like eyes. 


	2. Chapter 2: Abducted

Just so you know, I do not own any of the JtHM or Invader ZIM characters, nor do I own the talking couch; I just like fan-fics. ENJOY!

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2- Abducted 

" Is you the guy dat livses here? (Squeak with next word) HUH?!"

Johnny was enthralled by the overuse of spelling and grammar errors, and presently confused by the child's spooky, yet chipper disposition.

"Yes, and you're here for?"

" (Another squeak with next word) HI!"

Johnny's behavior changed as he thought after shutting the door behind him.

_Maybe I should be nice, presently. Just to lure him into a false sense of security, then if he makes fun of me or is rude to me, I'll have every reason to rip out his intestines._

So he hid all his worldly insecurities and put on a happy face, which he did very badly because it was his insane 'I'm gonna kill you' smile. He bent down to the boy's eye level, but a couple seconds later he decided to get down to his knees.

"WELL HELLO THERE LITTLE CHILD! And what's your name?"

"I'M GIR! I like stuff."

"Can I interest you into coming inside with me? We'll have LOTS to talk about then! (REALLY evil face.)"

A voice came from the sidewalk.

"Hello!"

Johnny turned around and saw a small man, who also looked patched up in an obscure manner, but the inside of his face was green, and the outside of him was completely disproportionate to the rest of the man's body, like a small child was in a man costume.

"My little boy just loves you, and I just- NOW GIR!"

The man's belly opened up like a second mouth and quickly sucked Johnny in, Struggling inside the fabric-like bowels of the small man, but the fabric became tighter and tighter as he fought.

_Fuck! Well I know I'M not talking to children for a week!_

Almost suffocated, he fainted inside the man's belly as the man said something:

"HURRY GIR! BEFORE ANYONE SEES!"

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Second chapter, blah, blah, blah- READ THE NEXT ONE! XD 


	3. Chapter 3: Deal or No Deal

Just so you know, I do not own any of the JtHM or Invader ZIM characters, nor do I own the talking couch; I just like fan-fics. ENJOY!

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3- Deal or No Deal. 

Johnny woke up in a strange room filled with large wires and weird looking computer screens, he was enigmatical with confusion. Trying to get up he realized that he was strapped to the table. His questions came out quickly and clearly.

"Who are you, where the FUCK am I and HOW LONG WAS I OUT?! "

"You said the last one the loudest so I will reply from right to left:

1- Thirty minutes,

2- In my base and,

3- I AM ZIM!"

Johnny was relieved that he was only out for a half hour with no dreams, but annoyed to find out that he had been abducted by aliens. The small man was actually a small, green alien with antennae, and big, pupil-less pink eyes, clothed in a pink, dress-like shirt with matching shirt-cuffs and black, knee-and-elbow high gloves and boots, with a backpack like thing that didn't have any straps, but was still able to stay on his back. He sneered at Johnny, showing off his zipper-like teeth. The child was a grey and blueish-green robot with a single, electricity-pole shaped antenna sticking out of the top of his head and a welded on blueish-green chasse door.

"HI THERE MR. CREEPEH LOOKIN DUDE! Wanna see da scareh monkeh sho?!"

GIR tuned on the twelve TVs that crowded the right wall all at once; it clicked to a spooky looking monkey with a Band-Aid on its forehead. A few seconds later ZIM ran over, snatched the remote out of GIR's hand, and tuned them off.

"Nonsense GIR! That's not why he's here!"

"Then what AM I here for?"

"My most ENGENIOUS plan yet, of course!"

"FEOO! That's a relief! I thought I was going to be DISECTED or somethin! Too bad you're suggesting to USE ME!! I'M NOT SOME STUPID PUPPET FUCK! And I thought aliens were supposed to be SMART! GO DO YOUR 'PLAN' WITHOUT ME! I DON'T COME WITH A REMOTE CONTROLL."

"You would be offended then, if this plan was worth your while."

Zim tuned the TVs on to different channels, all of which have a child with black, scythe shaped hair, glasses, a black overcoat, and a blue T-shirt with a grey  on it. It also shows that in every one of the frames, the child is relentlessly bullying ZIM.

"Meet DIB. He has pained me many a time. You see, I've been monitoring you."

He clicked the remote, and at once it revealed clips of Johnny being, well, JOHNNY.

"And I have come to a conclusion that you mostly hurt and kill people who have been mean to you, in pretty much any shape or form. DIB had done as such to me. But I am too weak to do what you do. Is it so much to ask for help?"

Johnny considered this and changed his mind.

"What would you have me do then?"

"KILL THE DIB HUMAN! KILL HIM FOR ALL THE TERRIBLE THINGS HE HAS DONE TO ME!"

Another mood change for Johnny, an evil, crooked smile went slithering across his face, from eye to eye.

(The 'Were neighbors now.' Face he made at Squee in the first part of the first issue).

"DEAL."

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The third chapter. Pretty cool huh? Aww, who am I Kiddin', it SUCKS XD. 


	4. Chapter 4: Getting Settled

Just so you know, I do not own any of the JtHM or Invader ZIM characters, nor do I own the talking couch; I just like fan-fics. ENJOY!

Probably the CUTEST chapter I will make yet! GIR befriends Johnny, NNY and ZIM talk about sleep, and stuff.

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4- Getting Settled

Johnny sat on the couch, goggling at the enormous TV that sat in front of him. GIR was giggling at the telly-tubby looking monkey in the big painting behind him.

"That's a HUGE TV!"

"Iss gots lotsa channels onit!"

"Hey."

"Yes?"

"What channel was that spooky monkey thing on?"

"YA WANNA WATCH IT? Kay! Channel 13265!"

GIR silenced his giggling and turned the TV on to the 'scary monkey show.'

"There's da SCARY monkey show, da ANGRY monkey show, da SILLY monkey show, the--"

An hour later:

Johnny was drooling, a mindless look on his face.

"Da LOOPY monkey show, the RABIES INFESTED monkey show, da DEAD, POKE IT WITH A STICK monkey show, da-"

"GIR! THAT'S ENOUGH! You already bored him stupid!"

As soon as the rambling stopped, Johnny woke from his blank state, shook his head, and wiped the drool from his chin.

"No, its okay, it was better than sleeping."

"Hmm, I see that you have always detested the human shut-down period of the day. This S-LEEE-PUH, what does it do?"

Johnny was instantly exited by the side ZIM took on the subject.

"FINALLY! A RACE THAT DOESN'T NEED SLEEP!"

"What? What are you saying? Do you have an answer to this QUESTION I SPEAK?"

"You see this?"

NNY smiled and tugged on his shirt to show the "Z?" that was imprinted onto it.

"Do you now what this means?"

"ZEE Question mark?"

"It means question sleep."

"Oh, Yeah… I knew that, but WHAT and WHY is the question."

Johnny took a deep breath before continuing.

"I'll tell you both because it's a question that I'm accustomed to answering. Sleep is what people use to get away from reality, truth, and knowledge. For me, sleep is a waste of precious time. I detest sleep. I've better things to do. Besides, I find it frightening to awaken and be uncertain, unsure of everything I remember about life not being just part of a dream. Waking means I've slept, and sleep dissolves what little certainty I have left. Sleeping is riddled with nightmares, creepy deja-vus, and REALLY stupid dreams. It's such a tedious thing. I find comfort in breaking the record of staying awake, growing more and more distant from the atrocities that is mankind, not physically, but mentally. The more awake and insane I am, the more I can separate myself and contrast from a cruel and ignorant world. Staying awake separates the people from the mindless monkeys that walk the streets these days."

"WOW. GOOD ANSWER."

NNY was pleased at the thought of an Irken, sitting, WORKING. All day and night.

"Thank you! Finally, someone can see it MY way! I'm rarely happy to meet anyone, but in this case there is a great exception! We only know eachothers names, and yet we have so much in common! I'M HAPPY?! YES! HAPPINESS, I'M HAPPY!"

Johnny looked like he was about to jolt off the couch and go on another insane killing spree. He was twitchy, with a crazed look on his face. But GIR tackled him, in the friendly way. NNY started to laugh, then turned it into a breathless giggle, gasping for air, but contended nonetheless. They both laughed, and Johnny was settled.

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TEH CUTENESS! XD I AM THE KING OF ALL EVIL, MOOOOOOO! 


	5. Chapter 5: The Subject

Just so you know, I do not own any of the JtHM or Invader ZIM characters, nor do I own the talking couch; I just like fan-fics. ENJOY!

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5- The Subject 

"Is that him?"

Johnny was crouched behind a bush next to ZIM. DIB was on the school entryway stairs talking to someone about some random nonsense.

"Yes, it is. The filthy DIB human has foiled all of my plans from the very start. He has threatened to expose me! Do you know what they DO to aliens if captured?! HORRIBLE THINGS! The DIB does not know how hard it is to pass off as human!"

"Because being human means losing your humanity."

"Here's the plan, I have been monitoring DIB's father as well, and he does not talk to his children much because he is so busy, he would be happy to let someone else take care of them. Say, a babysitter?"

"Well, it would be good to monitor him up close and personal. After all, people lie everyday. What says I can't get away with just one?"

That Night-

A tall man with scythe shaped hair, blue goggles and a big white lab coat entered the Hi-Tech establishment that is his household, with a peculiar looking man. DIB was sitting on the couch watching 'Mysterious Mysteries'. A small girl with purple hair shaped into a creepy style, a skull necklace, and squinted eyes was sitting in the kitchen playing her new version of 'Vampire Piggy Hunters' on her Game Slave 2.

"Children, this is you're babysitter, Johnny C. I have to go now; I'm needed for a meeting where we will make a new and IMPROVED Super Toast!"

NNY could hear the girl's voice in the distance.

"Whatever."

DIB was not pleased by this.

"BABYSITTER? BUT DAD! You've left us alone ever since we were BORN!"

Johnny fought back with words.

"I assure you, I will take care of all of your needs, no need to worry. Besides, I will be gone in merely a few days."

His dad, Professor Membrane assured his son this as well.

"See son? Everything will be fine, GAZ isn't that hard to handle. Now, I'M OFF!"

With a really cool whoosh, Membrane was gone. NNY walked leisurely to the kitchen and started to make dinner.

"SUPER toast huh? Heh, that man should be more concerned about PREVENTING obtuse ideas rather than CREATING them."

DIB walked into the kitchen, interested in what Johnny just said.

"So what kind of science do you think is rational then?"

"HAH, such a good question, and such an effortless answer too! There are more imperative things to do than to fuss over mankind, that's the LAST thing they should worry about. What about GHOSTS, ALIENS, SASQUATCH, THE GALACTIC EQUINOX, and that THREE LEGGED BABY that I keep hearing about so often?"

"You're interested in Para science?"

"FUCK YEAH! Best thing since Liquid Burrito! (Even though it's carbonated.) BUT STILL! It's a field of research that's worth researching."

DIB was happy to have an intellectual as a babysitter.

"There's an episode of Mysterious Mysteries on. Wanna watch it with me?"

Johnny was finished with making dinner as soon as the question finished. He put the three burritos on plates. One for DIB, one for himself, and one for GAZ for a meal between levels.

"Sure!"

NNY walked do the table and set a burrito on it, he noticed the GS2 and smiled.

"The GS2 huh? Now THAT level is FUN! The ZOMBIE HOG level! Man, the Japanese are REALLY missing out on that!"

GAZ paused the game and looked up at Johnny.

"Maybe having a babysitter isn't such a bad thing after all."

NNY and DIB had a great time talking about the supernatural, and laughed a little at the sheer stupidity of the episode of Mysterious Mysteries they were watching, a rerun of THE SAD, SAD TALE OF CHICKENFOOT.

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NNY can get PIGGY with it! XD WHO KNEW Johnny had a GS2? I certainly didn't! BWAHA, Liquid burrito! I is FUNNY! 3 legged baby too! Is there NOTHING I can't be random about? CRAB CAKES AND GRANOLA! 


	6. Chapter 6: The Letter

Just so you know, I do not own any of the JtHM or Invader ZIM characters, nor do I own the talking couch; I just like fan-fics. ENJOY!

WARNING: First crying scene, I STINK LIKE DORITOS!

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6- The Letter

Johnny was sitting at home on the couch, ZIM pacing in font of him, and GIR was dancing like a monkey near the living room door.

"So THESE are you're friends Johnny, a small child and a green dog? I'm surprised I didn't learn of this earlier."

"So Marcie, did you know that the thought of a talking couch kinda creeps me out?"

Agatha snickered as ZIM jolted back in surprise and screamed.

"AAAAAAH! TALKING COUCH!"

"I TOLD you, my NAME is MARCIE!"

"DON'T HURT MEEE!"

Johnny snickered at ZIM for having been so stupid, even though she could talk.

"SHUT UP ZIM, SHE'S ONLY A COUCH."

"WELL, that's the entire POINT! Talking couches scare me, because I used to have one when I was a Smeet, I never got used to him, what with the whole talking furniture thing and all."

GIR started to do a very random and silly dance.

"DO THE KUMQUAT!

(Doing a little jig and singing like the hustle.)

DO- DO- DO- DODO- DODO- DO- DO-"

"GIR, STOP THAT IMMEDIATELY, We have work to do."

"Okee-dokee."

"So that's all I got from DIB, sorry I couldn't get more."

"NO SILLY, THAT- THAT was ALL I needed! My INGENIOUS plan will be complete in due time, NNY. I recently heard that the DIB monkey has been talking to LARD NAR, the leader of the badly named resistance called THE RESISTY."

Johnny instantly became humored at the mere SOUND of the resistances name.

"WAIT, WAIT, WHAT WAS THAT?! (Trying to hold in the giggles) REHEHEHESIHIHISTYHEHEHE! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! RESISTY."

ZIM was highly amused as well.

"(Giggling as well) Yehehes, RESISTY, SILLY name isn't it?"

Johnny was still recovering from his laugh attack.

"HEAH! WHOO! RESISTEH! WORST resistance name EVER!"

"HEH, that's pretty funny, who in all raging INSANITY, would pick a name as IDIOTIC as RESISTY. THAT'S a LAUGH!"

"Yes, so… Where was I again? Oh, NOW I remember. LARD NAR had been in contact with the DIB, and is planning to plan a plan to stop my plan."

"I dunno, that's a lot of plans."

"But what I'M planning will stop them from planning a plan to plan a plan to stop my plan."

"GOD, I think we're just about done with overusing the word PLAN now."

"I'm just trying to stop them from planning so I can plan a plan to stop them from planning altogether, it's that simple."

"WOW, you REALLY like the word PLAN, don't you?"

"In basic terms, the plan to kill the DIB is the only thing that will lower their defenses enough to come up with a REALLY good idea."

"WHOAH, only ONE plan in that sentence, A NEW RECORD!"

"The DIB will be the key to CRUSHING the resistance like DLORK ROCKS! Like little, crumbling, rocks. After DIB is out of the way, the resistance will be shaken enough to DESTROY! That's where you come in NNY, you are the closest I have ever gotten to eliminating DIB. Your help will bring about prosperity for the IRKEN armada. But the first part is always to observe the soon to be victim. And that you have done well. Now on to phase two, GOING IN FOR THE KILL."

Johnny liked what he was hearing, being a homicidal maniac and all.

"So THIS is where the fun REALLY starts!"

"DIB trusts you enough to let you go anywhere you please now, I already told you that I was monitoring your babysitting duties, now you have COMPLETE CONTROLL over him, the CRUSHING will begin when you substitute for the nurse with the HIDEOUSLY LARGE fanny. I made SURE she will be VERY ILL tomorrow, all with the help if my little friend, NUCLEAR WASTE. In class I will release airborne bacteria that will only respond to DIB, the bacteria will give him a temporary cold, and he will see the sub, which would be you, then the fun will begin."

"FINALLY! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to check the mail."

Johnny walked outside, maneuvering through the darkness just like he usually did when out on his little gathering trips where he would scavenge from the bottom of mankind for more human cull to kill. The mailbox said 'ALL MAILMEN MUST DIE.' He carefully opened the mailbox as if it were a person and quickly slid his hand inside so as not to attract attention. Jolting back to the house with the single letter in his hand, but slowly opening the door that had the sign 'GO AWAY' and quickly switched his gaze to the lawn's sign that said 'KEEP OFF THE LOOSE SOIL, IT'S IMPOLITE TO WALK ON THE DEAD.' He made his way to Marcie and sat down gently, staring at the blank side of the letter.

"Almost done here."

ZIM was typing on a computer that had the weird type

''

(My Insidious plan to destroy stuff.)

(PLOT CHANGE! OOH, SPOOKY!)

Johnny's finger instinctively ripped through the flap of the letter's casing. He slowly opened the contents and started to read. Black, eye makeup tainted tears suddenly erupted from his eyes and rushed down his bony cheeks.

"What's wrong?"

Johnny was unable to reply, his senses shut down by his sadness induced coma. The letter was unreadable through the blanket of palpable sorrow, drowning his eyes in a casing of water.

"You okay?"

ZIM inched toward the petrified man on the couch.

"NO I'M MOT OKAY!!"

Johnny screamed, voice warbling, his almost invisible nose now red with congestion, ZIM winced and backed away at the sound of Johnny's sudden mood change. NNY started to sob, clenched the letter in his hand and away from his face as his face collided with the couch pillow, rubbing his head in the cushion. Marcie screamed in disgust.

"AAUUUUGH!! STOP THAT! JOHNNY YOU FUCKING LUNATIC, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GOD DAMNIT JOHNNY, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?! Oh, what's the use."

GIR came out of nowhere and grew a big, metallic heart for NNY.

"Awww, he's sad."

Johnny's crying reverberated throughout the room, Marcie cringed every time he moved. But no one expected to see what was next. When NNY removed his head from the blackened cushion, ZIM was aghast at what he saw… Johnny without his eye makeup.

"HOLY MOTHER OF- OH MY- GUH!"

The crying revealed the layers upon layers of dark circles and sleepys around his eyes.

(NOTE: He looks like a ZOMBIE without his eye makeup.)

"(Sniff,) I know, I look HORRID don't I? Well, that's what happens when a human stays awake for more than six months, why do YOU think I was wearing so much eye makeup, to look Goth?"

"That's disturbing, and you got black stuff ALL OVER ME! EWWWWW!"

GIR was feeling sorry for Johnny as he pulled out a makeup kit from out of nowhere and started to cover up the olive colored and almost bruise-like (when combined with his sickly yellow skin) circles around his eyes. GIR waited twenty minutes for NNY to finish.

"Aww, YOU NEED A HUG!"

GIR lunged at Johnny with amazing robot speed and glomped him right in the torso. NNY was so glad to FINALLY have someone to cheer him up, so he started to cry again, this time clasping GIR in his arms and landing on his side onto the black stain that he made on Marcie.

(NOTE: Hugs can heal! XD)

Tears still trickled down NNY's face, but in the mushy kind of way. He fell asleep there, with ZIM still cowering in the corner.

"I was RIGHT; he really IS a homicidal maniac."

"DAWWW! I WUV YOO TOO!"

"NOT AGAIN! JOHNNY! I NEED OXI CLEAN!"

And he left the letter at the edge of the couch.

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Sorry, the crying isn't over yet peoples! I feel so sorry for you. 


	7. Chapter 7: Realization

Just so you know, I do not own any of the JtHM or Invader ZIM characters, nor do I own the talking couch; I just like fan-fics. ENJOY!

EEK! SECOND CRYING SCENE! I am SO going to get flamed for this. But Devi FINALLY comes into the story.

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7- Realization 

A thin woman sat on her couch, her purple hair pushed back with hairpins, three on each side, her jade green eyes gleaming in the fluorescence of the window, showing the dark circles around her eyes, even though she had a lot of eye makeup. A black turtleneck that barely covered her navel. Purplish-gray pants tucked into her clunky looking black boots. The hypo-allergenic cross earrings she wore wobbled as she turned towards her drawing room. A small voice screamed from it.

"GET ME THE HELL DOWN FROM HERE DEVI!"

The woman instantly frowned at the sound of the voice.

"FUCK YOU, SICKNESS."

Sickness screamed back.

"IF YOU DON'T, I'LL STILL GET DOWN SOONER OR LATER! YOU CAN'T KEEP ME UP HERE FOREVER! YOU'LL BE BACK! AND WHEN YOU DO, I'LL BE WAITING!"

"BUT THAT WONT BE FOR A LONG WHILE! SO JUST SHUT UP! You're beginning to wear out what little patience I have left."

"HE'S DEAD!"

Devi was confused by this statement.

(NARRATOR: Me too, I have no idea what she meant by that.)

"WHAT WAS THAT?"

She got up and stomped to the drawing room, an angry look on her face. There, near the back of the room stood a painting that had a strange creature impaled onto it by a paintbrush through its gut. Its hair just like Devi's, but she was much smaller, her eyes were missing, and her legs looked like two daggers connected to her torso. Her greenish blue shirt stained with blood. from looking at her pail white skin, she looked like she was sown together better than GIR's human costume. Her fingerless hands on the brush. Sickness spoke now in her regular, spooky voice.

"How about you give me my eyes back, and I'll tell you, then you let me go, yes?"

" _Sigh_, Okay. But you tell me EVERYTHING before I let you go, got it?"

"SURE! Okay, you remember the last time you called Johnny?"

"How do you know Johnny?"

"Heh, I'm a part of you, remember? I know EVERYTHING about you Devi. I know you still think of him. You remember those noises don't you, when you called him?"

"WAIT, Y-You're saying?"

"Heh, that's right Devi, That call afterwards was probably was his will or something, don't you think?"

Devi remembered that call, the noises, and the call he sent a couple months afterwards. She remembered yelling at him when he called her, and sending a very angry letter to him a few days ago. But DEAD? Her eyes swelled with tears as she bit her lower lip to stop it from quivering. She was defiant of the emotions that now were very apparent to her AND Sickness.

_I- IT CAN'T BE._

"SHUT UP! (Her voice starting to quiver) JUST SHUT UP! YOU'RE LYING! HE CAN'T-"

Her voice broke off into a loud sob. Sickness cringed at the sudden noise, but she replied to the weeping with some mood-strengthening statements.

"Remember the noises Devi; I'm not the one who's lying, you're lying to YOURSELF."

Devi covered her face with her scarred hands, (scarred from breaking an empty paint jar). Sobs shook her as she got onto her knees and bent over. Her voice breathless and shaky as she cried.

"HE CAN'T BE DEAD! OH, GOD! NOT ANOTHER ONE! AND I- BUT I DINT- OH GOD, SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME!"

She broke from her almost fetal position to turn to Sickness, getting in her face, she screamed.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT THIS SOONER!? IF I HAD KNOWN, I WOULDN'T HAVE SENT THAT LETTER!"

"I just thought that you needed to blow off some steam"

"FUCK STEAM! YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD ME!"

"Then why not write an apology letter? But you still have some well deserved crying to do. I'll wait for my eyes."

Devi pulled away from her angry state.

"So, I… KILLED him?"

Black tears streamed down her face.

"I'm sorry to say this, but yes, that's all of what I can gather from your memories."

So Devi just went back to crying.

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This was written when the 3rd issue of IFS was not published. So don't hate me for not being up to date. 


	8. Chapter 8: A Very Important Interlude

Just so you know, I do not own any of the JtHM or Invader ZIM characters, nor do I own the talking couch; I just like fan-fics. ENJOY!

Another crying scene, CUZ I HAVE TOOO! Criii. ;-;

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8- A Very Important Interlude 

Johnny sat on the talking couch what is Marcie sipping a well deserved cherry FIZ-WIZ (NNY likes all things cherry.) The rabbit ear antennaed TV set blinking on and off while he flipped channels trying to find his favorite commercial; the one where an entire family gets diarrhea.

(He just LOVES that one! XD.)

"Thanks for the clean up Johnny, and I guess I didn't pay much attention to your emotions as I did the eye makeup staining."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Or are you mad about ZIM being late?"

"Yeah, he said he'd be here two HOURS ago."

There came a knock at the door.

"FINALLY! We can get this plan PLANNED out so that I can have some well deserv'ed KILLING!"

Earlier-

Devi just got through the strenuous task of writing an apology letter slash eulogy when she heard a noise coming from the drawing room. She wiped the remnants of tears from her eyes and slowly paraded to it. Sickness was on the counter next to three ENORMOUS purple paint holsters, her eyes screwed back in (because her eyes WERE screws.) A tornado of bandages enveloped her small body, a big red blotch of blood in the middle of the white patchwork. She spoke in a kind, friendly manner that actually made her sound… NICE.

"I'm glad to see you Devi, mainly because I can actually SEE now."

"Could you keep it down Sickness? I need to think about some things."

"What?"

"You were making noises."

"No I wasn't."

"Wait, if you weren't making that noise, than whom, or WHAT was?"

She noticed something was added to the drawing room, but WHAT? She scanned the room like a security camera to find out…

Then…

She spotted a small, strange looking silhouette in the corner of the room…

She slowly approached it…

_ZRRRRRCH!_

A bright purple beam of light shot from it, temporarily blinding her and Sickness.

"DEVI! DEVI WHERE ARE YOU!?"

"SICKNESS! WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!"

She suddenly felt a sharp pain on the side of her head, white stars sparkled in the blackness of the underside of her eyelids as she fell to the floor.

"VICTORY FOR THE RESISTY!"

"FUCKER!! GET AWAY FROM HER!"

_WHUMP!_

--

Johnny jolted to the door, and opened it with a bored excitement.

"WHERE WERE YOU?! I was waiting for HOURS!"

"There has been a problem."

* * *

Thank me for having to put the third crying scene near the END of the story! I have A LOT more writing to do before that happens. So, YAY! XD 


	9. Chapter 9: Plans

Just so you know, I do not own any of the JtHM or Invader ZIM characters, nor do I own the talking couch; I just like fan-fics. ENJOY!

This is where everyones favorite Squee comes in! NNY gets a new car, the funniness ensues.

* * *

9-Plans

"**WHAT!?!"**

"THE RESISTY probably found out about you and captured her."

"I'LL KILL THEM!!"

Johnny was furious that Devi had been captured. He remembered after he got out of hell, he started a search for cold. But figured out that no matter how spiritless he could get, he still couldn't numb his feelings for Devi, that's what forced him to quit altogether. A new hate exploded from inside him, hate for THE RESISTY, Devi's abductor, and for not being told two hours earlier. A strange voice floated onto the room.

"Looks like you could use some help."

NNY turned around, and Sickness stood there, an inquisitive look on her face. Johnny was the only one that wasn't speechless.

"Who… WHAT… are YOU?"

"Devi's figment, of course."

"WAIT, W-WHAT?? YOU MEAN-"

"She's more like you now? That should've been apparent from the first time you saw me. I should know. I'M her first victim. After that little brush up where you tried to kill her, she was forced into insanity herself, I was assigned to her, but she proposed otherwise. I actually thought you were dead, you should've seen how she reacted when she heard that, still think she doesn't have any feelings for you? After seeing her react to your supposed death, I would beg to differ."

"That's very pretty, but we'll have to talk about that later. What I'm still trying to figure out is what I can do to get them back."

"This calls for the plan's ACTIVATION! I say we capture the filthy DIB, PIG, SMELLY… PIG! And then CONTACT THE RESISTY so they will have to come to US!"

"NO! That's too risky. I say we should go on with the substitute nurse idea and PAINFULLY INTERROGATE him. But I'm not sure what we would do after the fact."

"I have a plan, why don't you do the nurse plan, interrogate him for the RESISTY coordinates, and then INVADE so you would have the element of surprise, they would be scared STUPID by the sudden intrusion."

"THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!! JOHNNY, we should do HER plan, It's got INVADING in it! I LOVE INVADING!"

"It's pretty smart too, I second that emotion."

"YEEES! The DIB will not see THIS coming!"

"I just gotta ask… WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

"Oh, well, I'm still a little loopy from that time a giant parasite sucked my brain out of my skull, but other than THAT… I'm fine."

"And exactly HOW did you get it back?"

"That's not important right now; the important thing right NOW is that its thirty minutes till SKOOL starts."

"DAMN! I ALMOST FORGOT! SQUEE IS STARTING SCHOOL THERE!"

"Well, we should hurry."

About five minutes later-

A small boy with black hair and brown eyes with a similar shirt to DIB's called Squee was starting the day. Squee was walking to school when he saw a strange looking car. It was black with dark tinted windows and a 'Z?' painted on the front door. It opened revealing ZIM with his human lenses in and a greased back wig, with NNY sitting in the driver's seat. Johnny smiled and spoke in a strangely happy voice.

"HEY THERE SQUEEGEE! You weren't expecting ME were you? Well, I got a new car because my old one exploded for some odd reason. Kinda like your old school, but you KNOW who did THAT. Yeah, SENIOR DIABLO told me about Pepito while I was in hell, but lets not get into THAT. I talk WAY too much! This is ZIM, now get in silly!"

Johnny gestured to ZIM and then to the back seat.

"HELLO SQUEE! I will be your classmate! Sounds FUN doesn't it? You'd better not listen to ANYTHING that DIB says. He's crazy."

Squee was confused at how there could be someone that Johnny could actually stand. He mustered up enough courage to ask him as he buckled his seatbelt.

"So, how did you two meet each other?"

Johnny didn't want to carry the conversation on for this long.

"Let's just say that I'm lucky I still have all my organs."

Squee was now traumatized for the fifteenth time this week.

* * *

AHHH, you never thought I'd do THAT did you? SEE? I really AM random! XD 


	10. Chapter 10: Set in Action

Just so you know, I do not own any of the JtHM or Invader ZIM characters, nor do I own the talking couch; I just like fan-fics. ENJOY!

Johnny gets REALLY mad in this one, you just KNOW things are already looking bad for the DIBSTER.

* * *

10- Set in Action 

A grey and red ship was floating through the endless abyss of space. Inside the 'Space Can', an alien sat on a chair a little too big for him. The small alien had grey skin, crescent like antennae that looked like horns. Green goggles that were striped light and dark blue on the strap, yellow, slit pupils visible through the lenses. A blue shirt with four green shoulder cuffs, two on each side. Two dark blue belts stretched across his waist, adjourned with light blue belt buckles. It was the infamous leader of THE RESISTY, LARD NAR.

"After the accomplice finds out that we have captured his mate, he and ZIM will surely come looking for us. That is when we will strike. OH GOD! WE'RE GOING TO DIE! WHO'S IDEA WAS THIS?!"

A cone shaped alien floated towards him. It had a thin but giant pink curl of hair, a purple face, and pink eyes. It had a single finger-like appendage connected by a red, pendant like oval thing.

"I think it was yours, I kinda was too busy drinkin' SPACE JUICE man! I LOVES ME some SPACE JUICE! "

"OH, SHUT UP SHLOOGAPOOPTIS YOU IMBICILE."

Devi suddenly felt a cold sensation on her wrists. Realizing she was awake, she shifted so her head wouldn't hurt as much. She groaned in pain as she forced her eyes open. A collection of weird looking creatures surrounded her, but she couldn't make out the detail, her vision was blurry. She tried to move, but she figured out what the cold sensation was, shackles. She started to struggle, but her head was throbbing so much that she quit after a few seconds. Closing her eyes to rest.

--

Squee was sitting next to ZIM when he saw someone he thought he had escaped, MRS. BITTERS. The age old crow evilly crouched over her desk, her deathly gray hair tied up into a bun, she was cloaked in a black muumuu with a white collar. A maniacal hiss escaped from her mouth into the open air as Squee's eyes bulged.

"Class, we have an even NEWER, HOPELESS appendage to the FILTHY school district's student body. TODD CASIL, I THOUGHT I'D NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN."

"Hello missus, I know the drill."

Squee got up and walked to the front of the class.

"My name is Todd Casil, I moved here because my last school blew up. Mrs. Bitters and I were the only survivors, they never found Pepito."

"You may sit down now, Mr. Casil."

Squee was staring at the worm infested apple on Mrs. Bitters desk as he sat back down. But DIB wanted the details.

"Isn't that a little strange that a school would just EXPLODE like that?"

The class just shrugged off the question. ZIM started to fight back.

"The DIB's just CRAZY, he doesn't know what he means. Have you not ever heard of BOMB THREATS DIB? _HUH? HUH?_"

"But it would've been on the NEWS!"

"SILLY FOOL BOY! You are even CRAZIER than I THOUGHT! SURELY there is a REASONABLE explanation for it! For all you know there could be ALIENS blasting LAZER BEAMS at RANDOM schools just for KICKS! But seeing that this could NEVER possibly happen in a MILLION years, you will just have to LIVE with being mentally INSANE!"

"YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE I THREW THAT LUNCHEON MEAT AT YOUR HEAD THE OTHER DAY!"

"THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LINCHPINS! SEE how INSANE he is?"

DIB had reached his last nerve, he stood up in his chair and shouted.

"I'M NOT INSANE! YOU JUST HAVE HEARING PROBLEMS!"

"_GHASP! _YOU DID **NOT** JUST SAY THAT!"

"WHAT'S THE MATTER **ZIM**? A LITTLE HARD OF HEARING?"

Mrs. Bitters was now on HER last bit of sanity.

"**_SILENCE!_** I've had enough of your constant BICKERING for one day, DIB, **SIT DOWN NOW!**"

DIB quickly sat back down as Squee started to quiver. ZIM had enough of DIB's attitude and, well, DIB. He turned away and took a strange looking tube out from his PAK, a test tube full of a green liquid, with an array of color coded buttons, with a spray nozzle at the top. It looked like an otherworldly aerosol. He quickly sprayed some into the air and hastily put the sprat back into his PAK after pressing the red button. A screen flashed in his eyes, a monitor. It reflected in his eyes as he sneered, a red dot in his eyes moved towards a silhouette of DIB. Once the red dot reached the silhouette, DIB started to cough. Mrs. Bitters was happy to have a reason to send him out of her classroom.

"**DIB!** I've had JUST about enough of you, YOUR COUGHING! GO THE NURSES OFFICE! And take the auxiliary hall pass with you!"

"Yes, Mrs. Bitters."

As DIB was dragging the water heater with the words 'HALL PASS' painted in a vomit green on the side down the hallway, he started talking to himself, nothing unusual for him.

"_COUGH! COUGH!_ That piece of Irken SCUM doesn't fool ME! I'll get him just as soon as I get back from the nurses office!"

He slowly made his way to the nurse's office; a thin woman with wavy brown hair tied into a bun was stretched over her desk, as soon as she heard the screeching of the hall pass on the tiled floor, she slowly slid upwards.

"DYAAAH, WHADDA YA WANT?"

She was mentally retarded after having her brain put in backwards, but it was better than when she had that POOP cola can in her skull. Her eye twitched as drool gargled down her chin.

"_COUGH!_ I'm here to see the nurse."

"DAAAAGH, THE NURSE IS SIC-KY POOH, WE GOTS A SUB, HE'S RIIIGHT… THERE."

She dazedly pointed to the nurse's quarters.

"Okay, thanks! _CHOUGH!_ I'll be right back!"

"GHAAAGH, OOKIEDOKIE LITTLE POKEY!"

DIB walked into the room, behind a desk was a cushioned chair that was turned to face the window opposite the door.

"Umm, _COUGH!_ Hello?"

The chair creaked as it turned around, Johnny was sitting in it, eyes shut, closed off from the rest of the world.

"J-_HACK!_ J-Johnny?"

An angry scowl shot across NNY's face, he gripped the arms of the chair, tearing the leather as if it were rice paper.

"W-Why are you looking at me like that? _COUGH! COUGH!_"

Johnny jolted to his feet and slammed his palms against the desk.

"WHERE IS SHE!?"

"What-who _COUGH! HACK!_ I-I don't-"

NNY bolted around the desk and sprinted towards DIB, grabbed DIB by the shirt, and slamming him into the wall, a growl escaped Johnny's throat as he made an even angrier grimace than before.

"I **ASKED** YOU A **QUESTION**! **WHERE IS SHE?!?**"

NNY was releasing all the pent up anger inside him, ever since he heard about Devi's capture, he wanted to make DIB pay the price of messing with a complete psychopath. He had mutilated many people, but very few of them were kids. He never was completely sane in the first place, he only remembered one clear thing from his past, in which his parents were killed by an evil man, and with a gun too. He was guessing that was why he was insane, and despised guns. He no longer had any friendly emotions towards DIB, only complete rage and overwhelming malice. But he knew that killing him now would destroy any chance he would have at getting to THE RESISTY, and killing the bastards that were holding Devi captive. He knew how his insanity works, the negative energy being absorbed onto his soul, the releasing it in the form of hideously brutal maimings, it angered him that he was cursed with being even MORE insane than he already was, but it worked just fine in this particular situation, he could use the waste-lock curse to torture DIB untill he could get what he wanted, the coordinates for THE RESISTY, or DIB would die in the process, but that didn't trouble Johnny.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"YOU KNOW VERY FUCKING WELL OF WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! DEVI! THE ONE YOUR **ALIEN** FRIEND CAPTURED! You probably know what she looks like too! Purple hair, green eyes?! RING A BELL FUCK FACE?!"

"TELL US THE COORDINATES STINK PIG!"

"**ZIM?!** WHAT ARE **YOU** DOING HERE?!"

ZIM was standing behind NNY, an angry look on his face, four mechanical spider legs stretched out of ZIM's PAK. Johnny just wanted to suppress DIB's curiosity. After all, it was DIB's most valuable asset.

"**SHUT UP!** YOU **HAVE** NO SAY IN THE MATTER!"

"Y-YOU'RE WORKING **TOGHETHER**?!"

A vicious grin beamed onto NNY's countenance.

"You'll find out about THAT later, right now, I'm afraid you need to be taken into CUSTODY."

DIB was limp in Johnny's clawing grip. Screaming out questions and flailing to escape, he was jostled and crammed into a luggage looking box, which looked rather painful on the inside, what with all the spikes.

--

Devi woke up with clear vision but an ever pulsating head.

"Nuuuuh. Where am I?"

"You're with the PIRATE MONKEYS!"

LARD NAR gave his SIR an annoyed look.

"NOO! SHLOOGAPOOPTIS I **TOLD** YOU! WE ARE _THE RESISTY! THE RESISTY,_ GOT IT?"

SHLOOGY just nodded

"KAY!"

* * *

More of SHLOOGAPOOPTIS in this one, and you find out that SHLOOG is actually LARD NAR's Satndard Information Retrieval Unit. COOLNESS! 


	11. Chapter 11: A Living Daymare

Just so you know, I do not own any of the JtHM or Invader ZIM characters, nor do I own the talking couch; I just like fan-fics. ENJOY!

THIS is what will happen, CUZ I WROTE IT! XD

* * *

11- A Living Daymare (Nightmare Today)

"What the HELL are you?"

LARD NAR was happy to answer the question.

"You are in the SPACE CAN, WE are THE RESISTY, and YOU my little EARTHENOID, are our captive, to struggle is useless. We will not let you escape, for you are the bait in which we will lure the Irken invader and his accomplice."

"So you're using me as BAIT? And I have NO say in the matter? What if I refuse?"

"I am glad you asked that question, NENZOR!"

An alien pulled a switch, an electric shock ran trough Devi, stunning her and knocking her out.

"Put her in the containment chamber!"

His goons unshackled her and dragged her to a test tube looking thing, as soon as they set her inside, a purple liquid filled the tank, they put a lid on top of the chamber, and went back to their stations. Wires suddenly stuck onto the chamber, and then a second set of wires came in under first set to get under the glass, attaching to Devi.

"Now that we have her stabilized, she will be completely unable to struggle any further. Now we must wait for them to come and try to rescue her, and when they DO come, we will be prepared."

--

DIB woke up strapped to a VERY painful looking device, his eyes jolted around the room. Johnny caught his eye; he was in the middle of the room, sitting on a box of nails.

"Where AM I?"

NNY got up and walked to where DIB was being held.

"Nowhere safe, apparently, NOW I can get what I want from you, I asked you a question a while ago, and I would like an answer, unless you WANT to be tortured."

"I don't know what you're talking about, I TOLD you!"

"**WRONG ANSWER DIB!"**

He turned a strange looking lift, and DIB started to scream, crushing noises coming from his chest.

"It would do you well to answer now while you still have your lungs intact. Or you could just give me the coordinates to THE RESISTY."

DIB gasped with as much lung capacity he had, which was not a lot.

"How do you know about THE RESISTY? NO ONE knows about that."

"I DO! ZIM DOES! AND OBVIOUSLY YOU DO TOO! I just HATE IT when people LIE to me, and BETRAY me! But YOU DIB, YOU'RE A DIFFERENT story! YOU betrayed me BEFORE we even MET! Sure I lied a little, but It's NOTHING compared to how much the average human lies EVERY DAY. I can forgive myself for doing that, because I didn't hurt anyone who didn't DESERVE IT! YOU LIED WHEN YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT! YOU KNOW THE RESISTY! SO YOU KNOW WHERE DEVI IS! I WOULD HAVE KILLED YOU ON THE SPOT IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY INFORMATION! But NOW I can REALLY have some FUN! Here's how it goes, I start torturing you and you either tell me the coordinates for THE RESISTY, or I can just keep doing it untill you DIE."

He pressed a button on the side of the wall, and two blades came down on DIB's shoulders. He screamed again, gasping in between shrieks of pain.

"SO, which will it be DIB? All you have to do is tell me THE RESISTY's whereabouts, simple."

Tears streamed down DIB's now pale face.

"NEVER!"

Johnny scowled in discontent, pulling a lever. A rain of spikes shot from the ceiling, impaling DIB's arms and legs. His screaming was now almost unbearable to NNY, but that was all the more reason to continue, pulling out a tazer from his barrel of ominous looking torture apparel, he shocked DIB in the gut. Blood spilled from DIB's limbs as he flailed. Realizing the full extent of the wounds, he pulled the tazer away, loosened the lift, raised the blades and pulled out one of the spikes in DIB's arm.

"Come now, you don't really want to DIE do you? Just tell me where your alien friends are, and the pain will stop. Reconsider DIB, It's the only way you can get out of here alive."

"OKAY! OKAY! I'LL TELL YOU! JUST PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!"

Johnny looked at him with a saddened gaze, he could tell that DIB could not stand any more; DIB would die if he were to continue.

"Very well."

Five minutes later-

DIB was typing so fast NNY could hardly believe it, even after the spikes. Johnny was again sitting on the box of nails, and DIB was sitting on the floor, arms, legs, shoulders, and chest bandaged.

"There, got it. LARD NAR also gave me a copy of his ship's schematics. This should aid if not help you rescue this Devi person you keep talking about."

Grabbing the laptop and looking at the decoding sequence, he put the laptop in his backpack (which was REALLY small.)

"Thanks, I'll be sure to give these to ZIM when I have the chance."

"Can I go home now? GAZ is probably going to wail on me again for being late. But then again, she never really cares if I'm there or not anyway."

Unexpectedly, NNY acquired a new sympathy for him; bullies and not being cared for were the top two reasons in which he actually LIKED being insane.

"So, maybe, you had nothing to do with Devi being captured?"

"No. Like I said, I had absolutely NO idea of what you were talking about. He never told me about that."

"I'm… Sorry."

"It's okay, really. I've had worse."

"We could stop off at the 24/7. You know, because you probably already missed dinner by now. What do you say?"

"SURE! I could use something to eat other than ketchup and rice."

When the two reached the top floor, ZIM was standing there, an amused look on his face.

"I could hear the screaming even from HERE! He probably did a NUMBER on you didn't he?"

DIB kind of had enough of ZIM's smug attitude… problem.

"SHUT UP!"

DIB lunged at him and punched ZIM in the mouth. He fell, blood dripping from his mouth.

"AAARGH! DIB YOU HUMAN JERK! I'M BLEEDING! GAAAW! MY SUPERIOR TEETH!"

Johnny just giggled.

"You DID deserve that though, I have to admit."

"YOU ADMIT **NOTHING! NOTHING** VILE **STINK PIG!** I AM **ZIM!** AND I'M GONNA KICK YOUR FILTHY HUMAN BUTT FOR THAT SMELLY DIB MONKEY!"

Johnny placed the laptop by ZIM, who was rolling on the floor, groaning and clenching his jaw.

"Here are the coordinates and schematics ZIM. We'd best be leaving now. See you later."

As NNY and DIB walked out the door ZIM screamed.

"NOOOO! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE WITH THE TALKING COUCH! SHE SCARES MEE! NOOOOOOO!"

They both just giggled and got in the car, driving off.

A fabric tentacle shut the door behind them as they turned the corner.

* * *

I did it! the eleventh chapter! But the next one will be even MORE interesting! SUSPENSE SUSPENSE SUSPENSE. 


	12. Chapter 12: Getting Ready

Just so you know, I do not own any of the JtHM or Invader ZIM characters, nor do I own the talking couch; I just like fan-fics. ENJOY!

DIB befriends NNY, weapons are exchanged, and funniness ensues.

* * *

12- Getting Ready 

"So you like cherry Brainfreezies too!"

NNY and DIB were sitting on the car on a hill overlooking the city. DIB was thinking of how people stereotype other people and objects.

"Yeah, people think cherry is punk, but I disagree."

"Punk or not, it IS tasty!"

"Yeah, who cares if it's punk or not, I don't."

"ZIM is going to get you back for that punch in the mouth eventually, you know that right?"

"But like you said, he deserved it."

"He did."

"We've been out here for a few hours now, should we go back?"

"Yeah, I guess it was wrong to leave him with Marcie."

"You mean the talking couch he was yelling about?"

"He said he used to have one."

"REALLY NOW, I didn't know THAT."

"C'mon, we should go."

They drove back to the rickety old shack that was NNY's home. The '777' painted on the residence wasn't really needed, What with all the boarded up doors, the blood stains on the walkway, and the pestilential stench of rotting corpses. DEAD GIVEAWAY. As Johnny opened the door, ZIM was already audible.

"RRE-UH! GET AWAY!"

"Please, you've been in that corner for three hours now, come over here and rest."

"NEVAAAR! COUCH OF EVIL!"

DIB rushed foolishly over to ZIM.

"ZIM?"

"EAAAARGH!"

ZIM glomped DIB and started hitting his head against the floorboards.

"YOU **WILL** PAY DIB!"

Johnny grabbed ZIM by the neck cuff and hoisted him into the air, ZIM flapping in the air in anger.

"SAVE your anger ZIM, USE it for THE RESISTY."

ZIM immediately calmed down.

"YEEEES, FOR THE RESISTY, I WILL MAKE THEM HURT."

"Now, let's get started shall we?"

GIR jumped out from nowhere and landed on DIB.

"HELLO."

"NYAH! GET OFFA MEE!"

"Okay."

Johnny smiled and bent down to GIR's eye level.

"WHY HELLO GIR! I WAS WONDERING WHERE YOU WERE! I MISSED YOU! Now, we're going to invade THE RESISTY, WANNA HELP?"

"YAAAY! OKAY MR. STABBY! I IS GONNA HELP!"

"GOOD, GOOD! Now, come on, I'll show you the armory."

"ARMORY? How many weapons do you HAVE?"

Johnny couldn't POSSIBLY answer that question, he lost count.

"A LOT."

DIB became very nervous; he remembered what NNY did to him.

_MORE WEAPONS?! I'm scared._

NNY and company walked down five flights of stairs, passed three rooms full of people hanging from the ceiling, and a room that had a collection of corpses piled up on top of each other. Johnny opened a door that had the words 'GO AWAY' written in blood on the top. An arsenal of ghastly torture devices and portentous looking weapons lined the blood stained walls. NNY took out a nasty looking mace with rusty spikes poking out of the obtuse ball bearing held by a bloodied hilt. He handed the horrific death weapon to DIB, who picked it up with ease considering it was so small.

"Now for me, hmm, let's see. Grenades, no, flamethrower, no, AHA! Machetes, my favorite!"

Johnny pulled out two long blade machetes and practiced with them, slashing the air for a couple seconds.

"PERFECT! I'll just store a smaller set in my coat, just in case."

He took a smaller pair and slipped them into his overcoat, then resumed playing with the larger ones, twirling them as if they were batons. He giggled manically as he twirled the foreboding blades of doom.

"LET'S GET TO IT PEOPLE! TO THE VOOT CRUISER!"

GIR was ecstatic.

"YAAAY! I'M GONNA DO STUFF!"

NNY and his newly acquired battle buddies paraded in a collective manner back to the top floor. They got into the purple taxi looking VOOT CRUISER and blasted off into space.

* * *

Almost to the battle scene peoples! Two more chapters before the actiony action of... ACTION! Niiiice. 


	13. Chapter 13: The Long Drive

I not own JtHM... IFS... IZ... Or talking couch... Blah, blah, blah... Enjoy... I'm tired...

* * *

13- The Long Drive

"So, how long will it be before we get there?"

NNY was crammed into the left side of the VOOT cruiser, his gaunt figure painfully listed to the right. ZIM was driving through what he thought was an intergalactic space port, there were many strange looking ships passing on there way to some futuristic somewhere. GIR was on the right side of the cruiser playing with a squeaky toy pig. And Sickness was lounging in the back, still a little wary to move very far, Johnny had to carry her to the cruiser because she could stand, but not walk, not very long anyhow. The cruiser in general was very small, and it took a lot of work to get Johnny inside, the interior was about the size of a pitcher's mound, not that large. And with the front seat, it was even more difficult to squeeze in. ZIM looked happy, even though DIB was sitting behind him, right next to Sickness.

"About thirty minutes, give or take five if we have to stop for Zerkla fuel."

"Tell me a story about giant pigs!"

GIR squealed in boredom.

NNY was nervous.

"I just hope the tank is full."

ZIM passed by a billboard screen that said:

'BUY ZERKLA, IT'S THE BEST FUEL IN THE GALAXY!'

Right next to the precariously placed Shloogorgs billboard.

"I hope your right, because my spine is killing me."

DIB was confused about the Zerkla billboard.

"Why do they say it's the best 'in the galaxy' there are TONS of galaxies!"

"HEH-HEH-HEH, yea, the post those in EVERY galaxy! If you look hard enough, there actually ALL OVER the place."

DIB was also confused as to why he had that terrifyingly painful looking mace.

"Johnny, tell me again why you gave me this?"

"Well I was planning on killing them, so they might come after you too."

"Oh…THANKS!"

ZIM realized now how much DIB usually bothers him.

"The only reason I am taking YOU with us DIB is because I have yet to see you in battle, (and I hope you get killed.)"

DIB was confused.

"What was that?"

"(Responding quickly) Nothing."

GIR was more bored now than he had been before.

"ARE WE THERE YET?"

Johnny bent over, spine crackling.

"I certainly hope so, ZIM? Do you know of any alien chiropractors?"

"I just hope Devi is allright."

Sickness was a little morose over the fact that she couldn't stop LARD NAR from abducting Devi, even though she fought with him.

"But I look forward to CRUSHING him the next time we meet."

NNY was getting a little uncomfortable sitting in the same painy position for any number of minutes.

"Are you SURE it's thirty minutes, I mean, what about time zones?"

"Then we'd better hurry."

ZIM punched a purple button and the VOOT cruiser zoomed forward. NNY was not happy having a backache at break-neck speeds. GIR was thrown to the back of the small spacecraft, and rammed into DIB. Sickness laughed evilly as the cruiser bolted through space, because she knew that she was that much closer to pummeling LARD NAR. ZIM and everyone laughed with her, even Johnny, though he was having pretty bad lumbago.

-15 Minutes later:

ZIM was getting impatient, traveling at normal speed even though he discarded the fact that Sickness impact wound was chest first. She was having some trouble breathing, and then passed out… TEN MINUTES AGO!

_WE SHOULD BE THERE BY NOW! I WILL NOT WAIT MUCH LONGER! I NEED TO FIND THEM._

"GIR! I need you to do something for me, come here a moment."

GIR's eyes and any other part of him that was cyan turned a basic red. He straightened up, dropped the rubber piggy he was previously playing with, and MARCHED over to ZIM.

"YES SIR!"

He said in a lower, more soldier-like tone.

"Activate your guidance chip and tell us how far we are from THE RESISTY."

"YES SIR, RIGHT AWAY."

An orb like noise came from GIR's head.

"THERE"

He pointed to the 'Space Can' and his red turned back into his normal, bluish color. Sickness groaned and forced her eyes open.

"Wha? What happened? OOOH, WERE HERE!"

"Wait, how did he do that? That was just NOT normal!"

What ZIM didn't know was that GIR was actually stupid.

"Oh, yea, well, GIR has these SMART moments; his behavior is what I think to be a ploy to lure the humans into a false sense of security."

NNY was still confused.

"O… KAAY."

Dib was determined to show Johnny that LARD NAR did not tell him about Devi, Sickness was fully recuperated and ready to tear LARD NAR to PIECES. GIR obviously had NO IDEA what the heck was going on, and stuff. ZIM paused for dramatic effect.

"SPACE CAN, PREPARE TO BE BOARDED."

* * *

(Suddenly awake.) One more chapter! Stay tuned! You got this far! Would be telling you that GIR is in the battle scene help?


End file.
